the more you love a person, the easier you are to be hurt by that person. and vice versa, the more you love that person, you may do things that hurt that person unknowingly. I love him very much. But it seem that ii always end up getting hurt.. what could be the reason? is it because i expect too much from this relationship. Or has evry thing changed because he said that i have changed alot. I admit i have changed. From a cheerful me, to a gloomy me.. I remember my days used to be filled with colours. BUt it seem kinda dull now.. is it sad? what causes a person to change? Enviroment? your social grp? the things you do? money?I admit i haven been really happy for the past few months.. but no matter hw i change my love for him will never change. There is how strong my love for him is.... I really want to change. Not for myself. But for him.. He doesnt need to always bear with my tantrum.. he tolerant it time and time.. but i always make him angry. I really hope there is a way to change my temper, my character.. what happen to my socialism towards people? and.. why am ii not nice anymore?i really want to be nice. I love him so much. Sometimes ii wondered if i had a choice to turn back the hands of time, will i stil choose to join this company? i realy dont know.. am ii really happy? the only hapy moments i have is when i am with him. And that we are not talking about work to make one another angry.. dear says that analyse too much thats y i am not happy. I guess he is right. I always belive in my theory. The ones who is truely happy are those who think simple.... but i guess to be really happy u must have a magnimous heart. which is 1 value i dont possesse. Come to think of it, when have i treated anyone nie before? I did in the past. Treat my friends very well. In the end, 8 years of friendship go down the drain like that.. actually friends are just like strangers.. they come and go. there is no true friend that wil stay with you for life?am ii right abt this state ment or is that true cases of ppl being best of friends since they are young till the bed of death? I realy want to improve. For him i am willing to do anything. I want him to be happy.... accept everyone with a open heart then will you be truely happy... stay strong....I love you i wil change for you..

I decided to blog as ii am feeling unhappy. yesterday had a big fight with him again. He threaten to break up with me if i dun change my attutide. haiz. I have no choice but to accept. I really love him and ii really hate to be without him. How did things turn out like that anyway? what happened in between that become like that. I really miss the days we use to have. when two person is together, there has to be alot of give and take then the relationship will work out. I admit that i always give him alot of problems. But sometimes i am jus hoping he will cum concern me. But didnt know that he will only hate me more. my heart feel heavy. I knw i am a fool always begging him to stay. But i really love him. I really cannot do without him. I dun knw hw to survive without him ler. Im so use to having him. I guess i will break down completely. haiz.. i really hope things will have to. sometimes ii really wonder doesnt he hurts saying those things to me? but what he say will hurt me damn deep. at times ii dun knw hw to climb up. because i love him u so much ii really cannot live a life without you. i really want to change cos is ii simply love u too much. haiz..

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